Saw V (2008)

THIS REVIEW WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS!

2 + 3 = 5.

Just as this is true, it seems that Saw V is just Saw II and Saw III rolled into one ugly mess. Granted, this film is not as boring, confusing and downright rubbish as Saw IV, but it is still terribly lacklustre.

At the end of Saw IV we found out that Agent Strahm (Scott Patterson) looks exactly like Mark Hoffman (Costas Mandylor) and this means that trying to piece together events is rather confusing. This lead me to believe, at first, that the ending to Saw IV was more confusing than it actually was. I wrote the review after figuring out they were two completely different people.

A shame, then, that these two people are the leads for this film. Strahm is boringly going on a hunt for knowledge, attempting to discover who the hell put him in some crazy trap that goes against the rules laid out by the films by having no instructions and no way of escape unless Strahm improvises, which he does.

Strahm's research teaches us that Hoffman is a bad guy, which we figured out from the end of Saw IV. However, what we didn’t know is that Hoffman has a slightly different story to Amanda Young, so obviously it needs to be shown in near entirety. Which is boring, because I honestly don’t care. If they simply showed the reason why Hoffman is Kramer’s apprentice then I wouldn’t have minded, but this film decides to show every little step to Hoffman becoming Jigsaw Killer V2.0.

The film, like Saw II, starts off with an opening kill, which is annoying enough. But it gets moronic as it turns out Hoffman created the elaborate device before becoming an apprentice. Where did this detective get his engineering know-how? The film doesn’t answer this. Obviously this is something we don’t need to know about this guy’s backstory.

The game set up is boring to watch too. It is set up in four rooms with five players, going from the first room to the next and to the next. The game seems to require Darwinian “survival of the fittest” gameplay, but in an obvious twist it turns out they were meant to work together, and they totally could have, in order to finish properly and not be terrifyingly mutilated and risk further death.

But wait, what about the third room, which has a bath in the middle of it where an electrical current must pass through to open the next door. But this can only happen if someone is in the bath, therefore dying due to electric shock. They couldn’t all grab a cord and do it individually as they would all run the risk of dying. So this defeats the purpose of the end room!

Yet again, the directing and editing annoys me, and all of the characters try their best to make me hate them. But it doesn’t feel as bad as Saw IV. At least, it isn’t as offensive. Kramer gets to come back for some more flashbacks and he is back to his usual self. Nonetheless, this film still sucks and I don’t recommend it. Just watch Saw II and Saw III, then try to imagine them condensed into one film.

Final Verdict: 2/10

Saw IV (2007)

THIS REVIEW WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS!

Be warned, this is  a long one...

This film feels like a turning point for me. The first three I enjoyed to an extent. The first two I thought were good, the third being a bit crap but a good way to end the trilogy. Well, it just so turns out Saw IV made Saw III look great by comparison.

I can’t quite tell what exactly makes me dislike Saw IV, but I’m going to go ahead and say everything. The directing and editing of this film was horrible. Remember in the Saw II review how I said that I fear of getting epilepsy? I may well have it now because of this films constant flashing. I also have motion sickness because the camera keeps moving around far too much.

The game this time seems completely ridiculous. It doesn’t feel like Rigg (Lyriq Bent) needs to be completing it on his own. He has to go outside, into the city, to complete some tasks, and yet he doesn’t get any help. At all. Also, the fact that he is no longer stuck in a single room or a building just doesn’t feel right for the series. Because outside there is no control over what happens, so it is only due to convenience that the game works.

The game, yet again, turns into a twist (M. Night Shyamalan would be proud). If he didn’t try to complete the game this time then everyone would have lived and it would have all have been fine. Oh, wow, you got me there that time, Saw.

But not only this, we find out that this film is a midquel. It takes place during the events of Saw III, meaning that it was Kramer (Tobin Bell) who set all of this up and not some long lasting legacy left by him, which would have been interesting. No, instead we are treated to a filler movie, which does a lot in ruining the story for us.

You see, John Kramer is a dick. OK, maybe he was already a dick, but he was kind of understandable. He thought people should start respecting their own lives more because he realised how truly precious it was. Fine. But no, it turns out he was to have a child, but his wife had a miscarriage. He then blocked her out of his life and decided to kill the guy who caused the death in the first game. This all feels so wrong and unnecessary, ruining a character as well as badly handling the death of an unborn child to the point that I am angry at the movie (and I won’t get started on the badly handled rape, which, again, angered me).

But on top of this we have Eric Matthews (Donnie Wahlberg) coming back from Saw II to die an anti-climactic death that I really didn’t think he deserved as well as Jeff Denlon (Angus Macfayden) from Saw III being killed in yet another anti-climactic fashion. These both take place in the ending of the film, which feels rushed and choppy, not really selling the over-complicated plot it was going for. Oh, and we now have another apprentice who has decided to follow Kramer because... he thought it was a good idea? I’m not sure, it isn’t very clear.

Then I got thinking: why does Kramer hate the police? All of his previous victims seemed to be people who deserved to learn the values of life and to care more, like a drug addict, an obsessed man who stopped caring about his family, and criminals in general. This time it seems to be a man who wants to help and save people. Several police get brought into the mix as well. It perplexes and puzzles me. I just guess the writers stopped caring.

On top of all of this we have other, more nit-picky issues. I saw a boom mic in an interrogation scene and during the opening autopsy I could see the facial mask that Tobin Bell was wearing. An issue with continuity is confusing, as Amanda Young is mentioned at a time before the autopsy and discovery of Amanda Young as an apprentice (because something tells me that Daniel from Saw II knew she was).

The editing was annoying, quickly flashing 5 different reactions to pain or someone’s speech, which just looked silly, and at one point an interrogator yells the same words 5 times due to the editing. It’s hard to put into words, but if you watch this film or have watched it then you might know what I mean.

Plus, and this is very nit-picky, the origin of the pig mask seems useless. The only reason it seems to be used is because Kramer wore one once when kidnapping someone, so thinks now it is a great idea to do it.

To be honest, though, when I say “if you watch this film” I’m being far too presumptive, especially considering what I am about to write.

DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM! It is really terrible. I had no fun, zero fun, watching this film. It takes the previous films and decides it doesn’t like them being good and decides to try and make you hate it. The torture porn is still prevalent. Tough issues are handled badly. Most of all, though, and I think this was my biggest issue, this film is completely unnecessary. It adds nothing to the series so far. It doesn’t take away, but it definitely tries to ruin it. This really is the worst Saw film so far.

Final Verdict: 1/10

The Inbetweeners Movie (2011)

The Inbetweeners is well known for its humour. It’s crude, sexual and, at times, incredibly childish. On paper this TV series should not have worked, but something about the show, be it the characters, the writing, the jokes or storylines, captured the heart of the British public. With its popularity unquestionable it is not entirely unsurprising that this series spawned a film.

To those unfamiliar with The Inbetweeners, the TV show focuses on four teenage boys in Sixth Form trying to cope with being outsiders whilst still trying to integrate themselves in normal society, become men and have sex. So, basically, what most teenage boys do. The show was based around a lot of awkward and gross out comedy which was timed perfectly to attain optimum amusement.

Now that overly brief summary of the series is over let’s look at The Inbetweeners Movie.

The plot involves the four lads, Will (Simon Bird), Simon, (Joe Thomas), Jay (James Buckley) and Neil (Blake Harrison) deciding that the best way to end their stint at Sixth Form is to go on a holiday to Malia, Crete. Simon uses this to get over his ex-girlfriend, Carli (Emily Head), whilst the others use it as a chance to try and get as much sex and booze as possible. From here onwards it is a tale of friendship, coming of age and a quest for clunge.

This acting in this film is fantastic. Anyone who watched the TV series will be glad that the standards of the TV series are kept in this film, and will also be able to understand the characters more, which might be a daunting task for newcomers. This is accompanied by fantastic script-writing, where jokes come thick and fast and as crude as ever.

But surprisingly for a film based upon the TV show we get some honestly heart-warming and touching moments. Characters interact with each other so well, be it between established friends or the people they meet on holiday. This does produce some funny moments, but the moments where it gets seriously do tug at your heartstrings. You know that these guys really care about each other, even though their exterior tells you otherwise.

But the film isn’t just about serious moments. The film is a comedy, and it truly deserves that title. The jokes are hilarious. They remain as crude and sexual as they were in the TV series, but tenfold, producing a film that has you laughing from beginning to end.

The Inbetweeners Movie is a true coming of age story, showing the trials and tribulations of growing up and realising that you will soon no longer be able to leave near each other because of university. It delivers this is an amazing comedic style without faltering and is well worth seeing. Not necessarily an essential cinema film, but essential for almost anyone who is a teenager or young adult and definitely an essential Summer film!

Final Verdict: 9/10

Saw III (2006)

THIS REVIEW WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS! 

You know that prediction of torture porn? The thing I HOPED this series didn’t devolve into? Well this is what has happened, and it is only 3 movies in.

OK, that’s kind of unfair. There isn’t much of this torture porn in the film, but that’s another area that this film falters in. When, on the few occasions, it shows the game going on, it is over the top with its torture of its victims and the death of one, who gets frozen, is utterly ridiculous. In fact, that woman is, for some reason or another, naked (or at least, I presume she is, all you see is breasts). This is the definition of torture porn and it is unnecessary.

The plot meanders through two hours of your precious time, going from the game to flashbacks to a woman attempting to assist a dying John Kramer (the Jigsaw Killer) so that he may survive through the test. Yet this isn’t after 15 minutes of uselessness as a detective discovers a dead body with the trademarks of the Jigsaw Killer, followed by her getting killed in a similar fashion and then another 10 minutes of setup until we can actually get to the plot. That’s 25 minutes of the film. Wasted.

And after this barely anything happens. The plot moves slowly, the characters are impossible to connect with and everything falls into place far too easily.

The entire film turns out to be a game for Amanda Young, Kramer’s apprentice. He wants to see if she is capable of keeping someone alive. You see, she has murdered people and creates games that are impossible to complete. Kramer made sure his games were possible to complete and has never murdered anyone.

But this all seems pointless when, in the first film, the only way Lawrence was allowed to escape was by killing Adam. He essentially condoned that murder and made it impossible for Adam to escape. I'm getting some mixed messages here!

On top of this, the game he set up for Amanda was reliant on her committing murder. He knew she would murder from the start, so why would he have her as an apprentice? This movie raises too many questions that the film doesn’t answer.

Plus, this actually turns into one great big Rube Goldberg Machine (something I’m going to be thinking a lot about in the later films, I bet). It depends on exact timing, people doing exactly what Kramer wanted them to do, just so everything could fall into place. With this amount of uncertainty in events Kramer’s plan could have easily backfired, something that I believe the character would not want happening and would make sure everything was set up so that it couldn’t happen any other way.

With Saw II I did have a lot of issues with it, but I still enjoyed it. This one just seemed like a waste of time to me. It was good at ending the first trilogy, but it wasn’t a good film. At all. The biggest problem was its lack of focus and length. If it could concentrate more on key parts of the film it would have been a lot better.

Well, now into Saw IV we go, a film that begins the “I’ve heard people say these ones are the shit ones” saga of the Saw franchise.

...

Final Verdict: 4/10

Saw II (2005)

THIS REVIEW WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS!

I was okay with the similarities to David Fincher’s Seven in the first Saw. It was the first in the series, the plot was great and the directing was good too. It carried itself as a standalone piece with obvious influences from elsewhere. But now we have yet another Saw film with heavy Seven themes. It’s at this point I’m wondering “Will the series ever stop being like Seven?” Though I would like this, I fear it will soon turn out to be pure torture porn, akin to Hostel, having the same lack of depth and maturity in its script.

Not that I have got that out of the way I will give a brief summary of Saw II. Imagine the first Saw, but this time the plotline of the captured people runs simultaneously to that of the investigation outside of this. Oh, and now we have 8 captured people as opposed to 2. You basically have the same movie. This time the 8 people are trapped in an entire house, which they must escape or a deadly nerve gas will kill them in a few hours. There are syringes of antidote around the household so that they can save themselves, but these involve completing tasks. One of these 8 people is the son of a detective (Donnie Wahlberg), which is where the investigation comes in. A brutal, brutal investigation.

This is where I get to some spoilers. The majority of the film revolves around completing tasks to get the syringes. But the problem with this is that none of the tasks in the film are completed successfully. One person gets two syringes; then dies before escaping; another person gets their hands trapped; another task ran out of time, bringing images of a deadly Crystal Maze. There is no tension in the film regarding these tasks because none of them ever get successfully completed, thus we stop caring.

The story is pretty well told, but it goes a bit slow. As I just said, there isn’t much tension or suspense. Not only this but the characters aren’t very well developed, being extremely one dimensional and thus are hard to identify with. Nonetheless, the plot does move forwards and we are treated to revelations throughout the movie, all culminating to a twist ending that features word play that Derren Brown would be proud of.

As I alluded to in the opening paragraph, this does seem to come dangerously close to torture porn. The fact that the film starts with an opening death made me sigh, and the gore and blood did come close to being excessive and was almost played merely for kicks. This is where I fear the plot will suffer, just to give fans what they want.

But, despite all this, I did enjoy Saw II. It was an interesting story with a good origin story for the Jigsaw Killer. The effects were good and some of the traps, while a bit over the top and Rube Goldberg-ish, seemed pretty inventive and realistic. I have to say I’m quite surprised to see how good these films are.

However, if the editing of the other films causes the screen to constantly flash and have super fast cuts like this film did then I might end up not being able to do the rest of the films as I may end up getting epilepsy!

Final Verdict: 6/10

Saw (2004)

THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!

The Saw franchise has always repulsed me. Not because of the apparent gorefest it features. No, it is the fact that each film has been released year after year, apparently showing exactly the same story but murdering its victims in different ways, similar to the Final Destination franchise.

This constant churning out of films offended me in some way. They all appeared to be complete and utter cash cows, made solely to make money rather than to produce good cinema. It is the main reason why I have avoided the franchise until this day.

In this series of blogs I will be looking at each of the Saw films individually, from 2004 to 2010 (not including the initial pitch from 2003). I will be writing my views on the film as well as a brief summary of the plots as soon as I have finished watching the film, to be posted (hopefully) daily. I don’t know if I will like these films or not, though I’m not going in with any high hopes. So let’s start from the beginning.

The film (created by James Wan and Leigh Whannell) opens to two men being locked in a room, chained to pipes on opposite ends of the room, a dead man laying in the middle of the room, holding a tape recorder and a gun, most probably used to blow his brains out. The living men are Adam (Leigh Whannell) and  Dr. Lawrence Gordon (Cary Elwes). For the first 15 minutes of the film the two men fumble around the room, trying to piece together the puzzle laid before them.

Lawrence is given the instructions that he can only escape if he kills Adam within 6 hours. If he doesn’t then he will die, Adam will die and Lawrence’s wife and daughter will be killed. The men find, through clues, that there are two saws in a bag in the room, not strong enough to cut through the chains, but seemingly strong enough to cut through their legs.

After these first 15 minutes, the majority of the story is now told through flashback, which shows other victims, the people involved in the investigation as well as the family of Lawrence. We find out that the reason people are put in these situations is that the killer believes they do not value their lives enough, and so must now be force to appreciate their lives to the fullest.

The story told is surprisingly unlike what I expected it to be. I expected, most probably from trailers and hearsay, that the film would be full of gore, violence, mutilation and dismemberment. But there is a surprising amount of plot in this film. In fact, at its core, Saw is a crime thriller, similar to David Fincher’s Seven. In fact, the creators of the film were directly influenced by Seven and it really shows. There are similar elements to the plot and the investigation, though not focussed on to a great extent, feels somewhat similar. In fact, the villain of the film feels like a carbon copy of John Doe, the murderer in Seven.

Nonetheless, as its own story it holds up pretty well. There are a few twists and turns that take place in the film that were almost impossible to see coming and the ending was damn well sublime, bringing together everything from the film, from beginning to end, to create one massive “What the fuck?” moment. However, there are some parts of the film that seem a bit silly. A few times I was looking at the situation and wondering why they were acting as they were when there was a far simpler solution to their problems right in front of them.

Sadly, the film missed opportunities to build up tension by making it seem as if Lawrence might kill Adam. Also, the fact that what Adam and Lawrence seem to do for the majority of those 6 hours they have to figure out how to escape is talk about Lawrence’s past, which seems like a waste of time and took me out of the film a little.

Acting in this film is pretty good as well. Some of the characters are played a bit too stereotypically, being purely one-dimensional, but most characters are likeable and it is easy to understand why they act the way they do. Sadly, Cary Elwes let down the acting at times, sometimes putting in a laughable performance.

As a whole, I found Saw to be a pretty good crime thriller, though not quite up to par with the likes of Seven.  Produced on a small budget of $700,000 it gets the job done and doesn’t overstay its welcome.

Wait... I still have 6 more films to watch. Man, I hope they are up to par with this one...

Final Verdict: 7/10

Cowboys & Aliens (2011)

Western films and science fiction have come together before. We have a great films such as the 1973 Westworld and the 1990 film Back To The Future Part III, but we also have the 1999 flop such as Wild Wild West, showing that this amalgam needs to be worked with tentatively. None of these films have dealt with aliens coming to the world of cowboys, bandits and Indians. So now we have Jon Favreau, director of both Iron Man films as well as the well received Zathura, creating a film based upon such a concept.

Cowboys & Aliens is not necessarily based upon a comic but rather the cover art of a comic with the same name. By the sounds of the plot of the comic, Cowboys & Aliens pulls a RED and decides to have nothing to do with the original story and instead create a unique story. And, just like RED, Favreau pulls it off spectacularly.

Set in 1873, a man with amnesia (Daniel Craig) finds himself in a desert where he comes across the town of Absolution, a mining town which is suffering from a dried up gold supply. The only way the town stays afloat is by tough cattle rancher Colonel Woodrow Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford). Absolution is attacked by aircraft who destroy most of the town and abduct many of the townsfolk. The remaining men of the town, alongside the amnesiac follow the aircraft in order to free the abducted townsfolk. The party is joined by Ella Swenson (Olivia Wilde) who appears to know something about the amnesiac. The journey leads to revelations about the characters, especially Craig’s and Wilde’s, as well as several action sequences and encounters with bandits and Apache tribesmen.

The plot may sound ridiculous, and it is to an extent, yet the science fiction and Western elements are both played superbly. The first 15 minutes of the film feel like a great Western film and when the aliens begin to play a part it doesn’t feel out of place, instead giving insight into what would happen in such a situation. The plot has several entertaining and heart-pumping moments, as well as some honestly upsetting scenes, all played with complete seriousness that, surprisingly, works.

All of the characters are interesting and are developed as the film goes on. Dolarhyde is initially shown as somewhat villain-like, but as the movie continues he becomes more likeable and his tough and brash exterior is shown to be justified due to his past in the army, yet his heart is always in the right place. Craig’s character is believable in his actions as an amnesiac and is fully developed, showing a hard past to contend with as he remembers it or it is shoved into his path to rescue the civilians.

Thankfully, the movie never calls the aliens “aliens”. Instead they are called demons, in fitting with the time period. The aliens in the film seem to have taken some inspiration from Alien, where they have a hard exo-skeleton and extendable parts of their bodies. They are truly terrifying and expertly designed. Also, the aliens feel as if they have weight in the movie, actually affecting their surrounding and the people around them, as well as feeling as if they actually exist in this world. This is most likely thanks to the amazing CGI as well as the use of practical puppets.

In fact, the effects in the entire film were great. The CGI very rarely makes itself noticed, making the ships look real and blasts feel like they have effects on the world. The use of practical effects makes this film have a bit more power compared to the overly CGI-dependent films of today. And I praise Favreau for denying requests for 3D, as this would have had absolutely no benefit from the use of 3D and would have just brought hate for the useless conversion.

Yet, with this film I perceive as being a masterpiece, it is not reviewed so highly by others. As I am writing this it is currently at 46% on Rotten Tomatoes, from 206 reviews, and 50/100 on Metacritic, from 41 reviews. This honestly baffles me and find it hard to see why this is. The acting in the film is amazing, the plot is great and the two genres of science fiction and Western blend seamlessly. But each to their own.

Personally, I really recommend this film. All of the reasons above should tell you this. If you get a chance then go see this film. It is really worth it, and if you are a Daniel Craig or Harrison Ford fan you should love it!

Final Verdict: 9/10