Aliens: Colonial Marines - First Impressions

Having just got back from MCM Expo I have looked back on my time at my first convention. It was extremely fun and I would definitely love to go again. It has certainly given me a taste for the convention atmosphere. However, one thing I remember most about Expo were the several games shown there. Out of these games there was one I played a demo for that really stuck with me.

Aliens: Colonial Marines is a first person shooter, though the demo we got was the competitive multiplayer. This meant that whilst the marines were in FPS mode, the aliens were in third-person mode. When we went in we were shown what the alien side was, watching the SEGA team battle against the normal guys. Xenomorph (the aliens) gameplay looked simply fantastic, with climbing on ceilings and walls being a major part. The entirety of the gameplay looked far superior to the gameplay in Alien vs. Predator, which had the Aliens in first person, making running along walls give you motion sickness.

But the xenomorph side was not the gameplay we got to experience first person. When the game finished (41-37 for the SEGA team) we played against the SEGA team. As marines you are dropped in apart from each other, but it is easy to find each other. A key approach is to take the Left 4 Dead tactic of stick together. Many people would run off on their own and immediately get shanked by a xenomorph. In fact, many of my kills were trying to make sure a person wasn’t on their own, see a xenomorph or two drop down on them, leaving me to try and protect them.

Another tactic that needs to be used for this game has to be one many people did not employ: turn on your flashlight and keep your eyes upwards. At one point four of my team members ran through a door with an obvious prehensile tail hanging from it. A few quick shotgun blasts and I had saved their lives. Of course, I found employing this technique actually heightened my fears, as I was looking out for the xenomorphs so much I kept seeing things.

 

The weapon loadouts given to us were great. My personal favourite was to use the shotgun as it was easier to hit the moving targets, plus xenomorphs need to get up close to hurt you, so a shotgun blast to the head before it stabs you is perfect. The other two weapon loadouts consisted of a machine gun (useful) and an assault rifle that shot in bursts (not as useful). The trailer showed a flamethrower which was not in the demo but I can imagine being extremely useful in the full release.

The game was a paranoia filled bundle of fun and is definitely a game I would like to get on release date. The L4D style of gameplay was absolutely fantastic and made us all work together. On top of this the game is simply gorgeous to look at, albeit it very dark (though a flashlight will solve that). Plus, the gameplay feels very balanced (our side lost 39-38, which is pretty close), even though when playing the game you do feel very vulnerable, which is how you should feel against the xenomorphs.

Aliens: Colonial Marines is out on Microsoft Windows, PS3 and Xbox 360 in February 2013, and Wii U in 2013.

Warp

Reviewed Platform: PSN

Other Platforms: XBLA, PC

Well, it sure has been a while on here. What with all the coursework and general University-ness going on I haven’t really had time to concentrate on something to review it. Luckily, I managed to get Warp a week or two ago and have been slowly playing through it. As soon as I started playing it I knew this was review material. Something about it just said “easily reviewable” to me.

But before we get into that we must ask: What is Warp? Well, Warp is a game I was very much looking forward to. A downloadable title developed by Trapdoor Inc., Warp is about a cute little alien called Zero going through a facility, trying to escape from the scientists and soldiers that have help him captive and tested on him. That’s all. A nice, neat little story and, to be fair, it’s not too bad. Nothing in depth but gives the player enough motivation to get to the end of the game.

The game does have other good parts, but sadly these parts are hampered by the game’s design. Firstly we have to look at the art design. Zero is, as you can probably tell, fucking cute (LOOK AT HIM!). He is adorable. That’s great. But what isn’t great is the fact that his art design is not conducive with the design of the rest of the game. There’s something that seems wrong when looking at Zero near the human characters. Zero’s overly cartoonish style just doesn’t mesh with the slightly realistic looking people and this means that scenes with humans in don’t feel right, almost in an uncanny valley sense. Otherwise, the art design is alright.

The dialogue is actually also somewhat entertaining. I would love to hear more and more of the scientists babbling on about what stereotypical nerds they are. Sadly, I can’t. This is because dialogue doesn’t happen enough and when you get close enough to the characters to hear what they are saying they have usually reached the end of their sentence. Once I just heard “mumble mumble masturbation.” I have no idea what that line is about in context because I couldn’t hear it. A simple fix for this would be to utilise subtitles, but the game sadly doesn’t have this option.

Talking of sound, the game does actually have some pretty good sound design. When you warp into enemies in order to make them exploding there’s a rather satisfying squelch as blood sprays everywhere. But, of course, there’s something to combat this area of sound being good: the lack of music. The game is extremely dull to play through without music. Not enough is going on to keep my full attention and some music would have been enough to keep me going. The design on the game warrants some wacky Splosion Manstyle music, but it’s just not there.

There are some other minor problems. The game doesn't really have a progression in difficulty, so it all seems like a massive grind to get to the end. Field of view from enemies isn't very easy to gauge and sometimes they seem to come out from nowhere. The game also glitched out a few times, not allowing me to go forwards until I ending up killing myself attempting to solve some imaginary puzzle. Also, the load times are horrendous for this title and get especially irritating when getting to sections where you'll die a lot.

There are some interesting powers in the game, but none of them really alter gameplay enough.

But none of these currently listed problems are the biggest. These are simple nitpicks. You might be wondering what playing this game involves. You know, like what you need to do and what the controls are. It is at thispoint the entire game falls apart, and disastrously so.

The controls to this game are HORRIBLE. At first the game seems to be quite good with controls. It you notice how when you are going to warp in a barrel or a person the pointer usually locks on. It’s handy. As the game goes on, however, you’ll find this to be almost irritating. A simple warp from one location to another can be hampered by a stray barrel getting in the way. Or even then the pointer won’t lock on to the barrel, getting you stuck behind it and then getting shot.

For a game that requires such precise controls the game is amazingly imprecise. You’ll find yourself dying over and over and over not because of ineptitude but because of the shite, stiff controls. And there is no place that these controls are more atrocious than at the end of the game.

The final level has a ship rocking from side to side. It is here you desperately need tight controls, but this game doesn’t have any. Instead you’ll find the physics going wild and your ability to accurately move between lasers waning. The gap you need to get into would be fine with precise controls, but nope, this game doesn’t have any. Once you power through all of the shit thrown at you come against the ending boss. If, when playing through the previous section, you thought the controls were being crap then THIS is where they fall apart.

Fuck physics and fuck the controls and fuck this game. The boss just doesn’t work and feels broken. I didn’t complete it. Once I have defeated the boss I have to sit around and not get hit. I don’t have any way of stopping myself getting hit, but I usually get hit almost straight away, giving no time to try and do anything. I just have to pray like it’s fucking Earthbound. Sure, there seems to be a way of doing it, but from looking online there are people who spent 30 minutes on this final boss. I can only suppose this is due to the controls.

If this game was more mechanically sound I’m sure I would love it. People seem somewhat polarised about this game and I can understand why. At first I thought it was OK, but as the game went on I found myself hating it. I was interested in this game for a while and I am disappointed with how it came out. The idea is one that it incredibly interesting and with a bit more polish and playtesting I’m sure it could have been great. Sadly, for me Warp is just... well, shit.

Storm in a Teacup

ARGH!

AARGH!!

AAARRRGH!!!

Just looking at this game angers me. Okay, so that last picture wasn’t from the game on Steam, but instead iOS, where the game began its humble life. Ported straight out of the Apple App Store we have Storm in a Teacup, a cheap as hell (£2.99) downloadable title on Steam that is as cold and lifeless as Steve Jobs (NB: The views expressed within this review are not necessarily the views of the management). That’s right, this game may look cutesy as fuck, but that’s just a clever ruse. Storm in a Teacup may be one of the worst 2D platformers I have ever played.

But why is this? Well, for many reasons. The controls are so floaty that precise platforming is nearly impossible. A lot of the time the game requires precision, but of course it isn’t possible and so you will find yourself dying due to the controls as opposed to your own incompetence.

This is not, however, to say that the game is at all difficult or challenging. Levels would end before you even realise you started them as it mostly consists of just going to the left to the finish zone. There’s very little to do within the levels, though the game does try and throw into it as many tropes of 2D gaming as possible, such as puzzles (which are too simple to actually call puzzles) and even Space Invaders seems to make a cameo for a nice little 20 second level.

Actually, on the strand of thought regarding level length this game is stupidly short. The game’s 40 levels took me roughly an hour, probably less if I have bothered to pay attention most of the time. I found myself browsing other websites just so as not to play the game, so I would come back to it 10 minutes later and finish the level in less than a minute. Sure, the game has other challenge levels or bonus levels, but these are about as easy as the levels in the game itself, so really have no place being in another set. They are purely there to make it seem like the game has more content than it already does.

In doing so we find that the game is actually one massive copy and paste job. There are probably only about 10 levels in the game, the other 30 being the other 10 just with a spike or two dotted around. On top of that the challenge levels are just some of the normal levels with a few more spikes and enemies, which adds no real challenge. The game just exudes an aura of laziness.

And then we have the tone of the game. Remember earlier how I said it was soulless, despite looking so cutesy? Well, the cutesy look makes the game look fun, but as you play it you realise this is just a façade. The 30 second audio loop this game has sounds fun at first, but as the game continues you realise it is the only music in the entire game, which burns into your brain, removing all of your sensibilities and making you hate life and want to make the game physical, just so you can punch it. Plus it’s just annoying.

The game also makes you want to love it using subliminal messaging, with the words "I ♥ Storm" slapped onto the levels just about everywhere. And if the game wasn’t saccharine enough it has you collect blocks of sugar along the way. What do these do? Don’t know, it seems pretty inconsequential.

If you can’t tell, this game is simply awful. Everything about it is bad. At first it seems fun, but as it goes on you feel yourself slowly dying. An hour of this game (the whole game) slowly depletes your life force until you are a shallow husk of a person. The boat levels were okay, though...

Q.U.B.E.

Platform Reviewed: PC

Q.U.B.E. (or Quick Understanding of Block Extrusion) is an independent First Person puzzle game in which you must complete tasks within a testing facility. You do this by using a pair of gloves in order to move blocks to achieve your goals.

Sooner or later I’d have to mention Portal, so I may as get it done with now. The game looks and feels a lot like Portal. Now, some may call the game out on this, calling it a rip-off and the likes, but I do not. Personally, it feels more like the gaming is proudly showing its influences. I’m fine with it. I don’t really want to talk about the game in comparison with Portal. I want to look at the game on its own merits, so let’s speak no more of Portal.

The mechanics of this game work extremely well. You use your power gloves to extrude block from the walls. You do this in order to create platforms, move coloured balls into their respective pits or to make light shine on a sensor. The entire game uses these mechanics in increasingly complex ways to create a very effective, though slightly too sharp, difficulty curve. I have heard reports of some of the game’s physics being a bit screwy at times, however I never came across these and the entirety of the game worked perfectly on a physics level.

In regards to the difficulty curve I have to commend this game: no in-game tutorial. You get to grips with the controls and the world through experimentation and simply looking around you and it’s fun. It’s interesting. It’s engaging. You feel intelligent for figuring things out. If the game pummelled me with text boxes and such at the beginning of the game I feel I’d be thrown out of the experience, as I found myself to be getting quite engrossed in the game itself. It does well to introduce all of the new blocks and mechanics to you throughout. When you discover how to use each mechanic to its fullest it’s rewarding.

Sadly, some of the mechanics of this game aren’t quite up to scratch. The magnet puzzles. Oh, the magnet puzzles. It’s at this point when the difficulty curve goes from a bit steep to simply asymptotic. Q.U.B.E. touts them as the hardest in the game and they are, but this seems to be because they mostly revolve around blind luck. I spent ages attempting one puzzle, not sure how to do it when suddenly it seemed to solve itself.

Also, these magnet puzzles are hampered by a fair delay on use of the gloves, making precision a key issue in the game. Whilst I do think the puzzles worked extremely well they did often take a lot longer than expected as there seemed to be a noticeable delay between clicking and the gloves working. This resulted in me clicking manically until the gloves finally worked, but all too late.

There also seems to be some attempt at narrative in the game. The game takes away from the normal test chambers and goes into the deep underbelly of the facility (like some other games that I promised not to mention later on). Whilst one might expect to find out that something has gone on down here we aren’t really left with much. I wouldn’t have minded if this game was devoid of narrative, as it’s a pretty fun puzzle game, but the way in which it attempts it slightly makes me wonder what plans they had.

The narrative also runs into a wall when the ending comes around. The ending seems to linger for a while, waiting for you to have the eureka moment and figure out what the entire game was all about. But there is no eureka moment. All I ever thought was “Wow, I’m enjoying these puzzles.” The semblance of a plot that went nowhere took away from this slightly, which is disheartening as I was really enjoying the game and its evolving mechanics.

 

Despite this criticism, I loved this game. It was extremely fun and challenging. It didn’t frustrate too often, but when it did it was usually the frustration you would attribute to any regular puzzle game (except for the magnet puzzles, of course). There’s a lot of room for improvement and the game could be a bit longer (the game was about 3 hours long), but it was still a genuinely enjoyable game. It might not be entirely original, but it still does what it sets out to do with enough competence for you to put this issue aside.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

It’s been a while since I last watched Dream Warriors but I’m not sure that matters too much. Dream Warriors seemed to end with a lot of finality, what with Freddy being defeated in both the dream world and the real world. Surely he’s dead for sure? Well, no, he is not. There’s still more films for him to be in. *sigh*

OK, to the film’s credit Dream Master is pretty enjoyable. The irritation I have with it comes from the way that Freddy comes back. Some dog just pisses on where Freddy was buried, but in the dream world, and now he is back. Not sure why, or how, but that happened.

Now that’s out of the way I need to get on with the rest of the film. The film starts off with the surviving cast from Dream Warriors and Kristine seems to be haunted in her dreams with omens of Freddy’s return. Turns out she is right, because Freddy isn’t giving up that easily and he proceeds, over the next 20 minutes or so, to kill off the final three Elm Street kids. That’s right, they all die. But that’s okay because within this time we’ve been introduced to our new protagonist, Alice, who starts off weak, but ends up kicking arse as the film goes on.

When Kristine is about to die she pulls Alice into her dream and, somehow through dying, she gives Alice her power of pulling people into her dreams. This works to Freddy’s advantage as he uses Alice, a chronic daydreamer, to pull other kids into her dreams so he can kill them too because... I don’t know, he’s psycho. The rest of the film consists of Alice dragging people into her dreams and trying to get them out, but to no avail.

The plot is great. It introduces a new element and utilises Freddy’s powers over dreams in a way you wouldn’t think them to be used. You could tell that the people making this film were looking at all avenues of sleep and dreams to try and make the story fresh and they did just that.

On top of that we have a constant element of threat. I’d be lying if I said I could tell when the characters were in a dream before it became overly clear. This created an air of suspense over the rest of the film. We’re never sure when people will die or who they will be. Sometimes it’s a side character and sometimes it’s the main cast, we are never sure. This is great because it’s shocking when people get killed, especially as Alice is often able to witness the deaths but is powerless to stop Freddy.

Lastly, I’ll have to say that Freddy in this film is probably at his best so far. He is genuinely creepy but also an absolute laugh at times. Even during a scene of great horror he would say something or do something comedic and would make me laugh, and though I’d laugh I would not be taken out of the horror element of the film. Compared to the other films he is astounding and Englund’s performance is perfect. This is the Freddy I had heard about: sinister and creepy, yet funny.

Though I did really like this film and thought it was far better than the first two films I have to say that I did prefer Dream Warriors. That film explored the dream aspect a lot more than Dream Master, but this film gets a lot of credit for trying to expand upon Freddy’s powers over dreams, unlike in the first two films. Sadly, the main issue I had with this film was how Freddy was brought back. Nonetheless, it was a seriously good film and had some good moments.

Top 10 Best Films of 2011

Well, we’ve just got through all of those films which I just couldn’t stand. Now to move onto the films I just couldn’t help but love. These are the films that I thought to be the best of those released in 2011.

Now excuse me whilst I gush.

10. Source Code

This was probably the biggest surprise of the year for me. I just went into it thinking that it looked like it would turn out to be alright, but whilst watching it I realised it was amazing. Source Code turned out to be an extremely intelligent science fiction film which shows what we would do in order to save people we don’t even know.

Sure, at times it did seem like he was forced to do everything, but most of the time his actions seemed to be ultimately altruistic and, being one of the few people in the world who believes altruism can exist, I found this refreshing.

The only reason this film isn’t higher on the list is because the ending was a bit too cheerful and ‘Disney, but the film did do things that other films don’t do nowadays. In fact, just thinking about all of the slow reveals of this film still gets me excited. Source Code is definitely a film you should watch.

9. Paul

Earlier today I was talking about how The Big Bang Theory just gets geek humour and geek culture wrong. I know a lot of people love that show, but this is just my opinion. Paul, on the other hand, gets it all right.

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are just hilarious in this film, and them being the British geek comedy icons it seems perfect that they should be in a film full of references from Star Wars to Aliens and even subtle references to things such as the comic series Invincible. And it all seems right. In addition to these references we also have a great plot with some pretty good twists and amazing acting.

If you like Spaced I’m almost certain you’d love this film. The humour is quite similar and somehow it actually worked when exporting it to the US.

 8. The Inbetweeners Movie

If you didn’t watch the series or if you just don’t like it I doubt you’d like this film. This film is filled with vulgar and sexual humour that only the Inbetweeners cast seems to be able to carry off. But that’s why I loved this film: I loved the series. I’m sure that maybe newcomers could watch the film because it actually does a good job to introduce the characters to the audience and give them a new story that doesn’t require complete knowledge of the series to understand.

Of course, loving the series doesn’t just make it a good film. The film is just funny as hell. Jokes come thick and fast and it’s great to see these social outcasts try and find love, or a quick shag, out in Greece. The acting is great and the script is perfect. I’m sure that if you wanted to see this film you already have. If you haven’t then give it a try, but it might not be to your tastes.

7. Cowboys & Aliens

I don’t get why this film was so badly reviewed. It might just be the premise of Western meets science fiction. Personally I loved the film. How couldn’t I? How couldn’t anyone?

This film is just fun from beginning to the end. It has a great cast, especially its leads Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford (who’s still got it, by the way), and they just make you care about the characters with their amazing acting. Not only this but we have interesting new aliens  with motives that we have to try and put together.

The film also utilises practical effects as well as CGI to make the film feel as real as possible and it does. You could honestly believe this took place. And of course the film is filled with tragedy, but also high points to create a complex story. Cowboys &Aliens is probably one of the best Westerns I’ve seen as well as one of the best science fiction movies.

6. True Grit

From a science fiction Western to a normal Western. True Grit was the only proper Western I watched this year, alongside Cowboys & Aliens and Rango. Whilst the former is one of the best Westerns I have ever seen, True Grit is the best Western I have ever seen. OK, to be fair, I haven’t seen many, but this film makes me want to see more.

The Coen Brothers continue to show that they are great at telling stories through both their characters and the visuals. You just have to look at some of the locations or people and know their story. True Grit was beautifully directed, but that wasn’t the thing that really made me love the film. It was the characterisations.

I cared about every single character. All of them. Even the side characters who had one scene. Everyone was acted so well and characterised perfectly. Hailee Steinfeld was perfect, Jeff Bridges was perfect, Matt Damon was perfect, Josh Brolin was perfect. Everyone.

5. Arthur Christmas

Aardman, you utter geniuses. You do it time and time again. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bad film from them and this is probably my favourite of theirs. Yes, I know, Chicken Run is great and Curse of the Were-Rabbit was amazing, but Arthur Christmas was just better. Never before has a film meant for kids, let alone for Christmas, made me laugh and emote as much as this film did. In fact, I was laughing so much I had to try and stop myself just so I could tell what was going on next.

It’s hard for me to explain what I love about this film other than it is completely hilarious. Of course, every time that I tell people to see this film I am met with a look of scepticism, but this film is an absolute treat and will, hopefully, become a Christmas classic.

Oh, and being British and seeing a Co-Op in a film is like seeing the Somerfield in Hot Fuzz.

4. X-Men: First Class

When I first saw the trailers to this film I wasn’t really that up for it. I didn’t think either the main actors looked like they would be either Professor X or Magneto. How wrong I was.

X-Men: First Class is probably one of the smartest superhero films out there. Less concerned with showing us a group of superheroes stopping a villain from destroying a city, First Class is more concerned with averting the entire Cuban Missile Crisis. Seeing as I already love Cold War history this just spoke to me in ways you couldn’t imagine. It deals with the entire situation with such grace and finesse that it is hard not to love it.

With this on top of all the 60s imagery and fun and likeable new characters it is safe to say that First Class is one of the best superhero movies out there. Though it might mess with the continuity of the films a little it still all works and comes out rather nicely to create one of the more intelligent films of the year.

3. Kung Fu Panda 2

What? So what if Kung Fu Panda 2 is so high on this list, if at all? I loved this film. It was just fun from the outset and has GARY FUCKING OLDMAN in it as the main villain. What isn’t to love?

Talking of Gary Oldman, his character of Shen is probably one of the most complex villains I have ever seen, he wants vengeance but also realises his actions are not right. He wants to do good, but is so stuck in his evil ways that he can’t help himself but continue. He shows weakness, but is still threatening. On top of this the ending is possibly one of my favourites in all of cinematic history. I discuss the ending in my review of the film, but I advise you watch Kung Fu Panda 2 yourself.

Oh, and the film starts with the genocide of an entire race. I’m so glad kids films have started to stop talking down to kids, because this really created a lot of dramatic tension and helped flesh out the main character, Po.

2. Black Swan

This film was just beautiful. It was fantastically directed, extremely well acted and had an amazing plot. I really don’t want to spoil the film for anyone because this is a film everyone should watch. You might think it doesn’t look like your cup of tea, but it is. 

I found myself loving every moment of this film and when it came to its ending I was overcome with emotion. I think that there will be people out there who will cry at how bittersweet it is. This film is a dramatic psychological thriller at its very best and it is probably close to absolute perfection.

However, I did have this as my number 1 film of 2011 for a long, long time. But what film knocked it off the gold medal spot? Well, I honestly think most people will be surprised and not agree with me, but I loved this film. It’s:

1.  The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn

I was shocked recently to find out there a quite a few people who don’t like Tintin, but his adventures with Snowy, and sometimes Captain Haddock and Professor Calculus, were a big part of my childhood. I read the comics and watched the TV show. Actually, I own the TV show on DVD. I still love it. So when I heard there was a Tintin film coming out I couldn’t be any more excited. And look at those people working on it. Just look!

Turns out my excitement was totally justified, because this film is great. This is probably not only the greatest use of motion capture I’ve ever seen in a film but also the greatest use of 3D to build both atmosphere and have the pokey-out fun 3D offers. The film takes place all over the world on increasingly larger locations, going from a small street in Belgium to a chase scene involving cars, boats, running and riding on falling buildings. There’s a scene within the mind of Captain Haddock of a battle between pirates that is simply stunning and it isn’t just there to be pretty but serves a point in the plot. But this isn’t the best scene. The film ends by defeating the villain in a duel with cranes. You get that? A CRANE DUEL!

OK, I’m getting a bit out of hand there, but this film is just one of the greatest films out there. Not a minute of this beautiful film is wasted. Everything slots in perfectly. I know I have a bias towards it, but I care not. It is simply perfect and is just amazing. Watch it as soon as you can because it doesn’t matter if you did or didn’t like Tintin before, this film will give you a different view on him. This is just how an adventure film should be done. I... I just love this film.